this is not a sidewalk

this is not a sidewalk it’s a footpath
haven’t got a pencil I won’t draw a bath
if you go to the bathroom
there’s no toilet in the bathroom
and I’m worried mate
washroom restroom: dunny
dude. I’m not on my cell, I’m on the mobile
if you call be buddy, dude - I’m not your mate
data data data – your inflection doesn’t matter
take away. not take out
a shop not a store mate
aluminium aluminium aluminium
zed zed zed – not zee
spell privatize with an S not a zee
diaper nappy nappy diaper pacifier dummy dummy
and like when did lollies become candy
it’s a 4 wheel drive not an SUV man. see
like I know right
like like omg am I right
parentheses vs brackets, like
and period – period? full stop
I can’t stop
its 24/7 closets not wardrobes
smack my forehead, for sure
put this rubbish in the bin mate, not the trash can
or in the boot, not the trunk man
man! mate! man!
erbs and bayzil and oregayno
nah no no
mate mate mate
a torch for a flashlight
shut the front door on halloween
I mean I mean – okay chill dude, dude, mate!
oh and whatever happened to peanut paste?